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American Idol: NY, NY

Given I’m supposed to finish up a project before my day job tomorrow, I won’t have much time to share my thoughts on tonight’s American Idol auditions in the good ole city of NY, NY. But I know AI starved fans are anxious to get their hands on *any* AI-related stuff, so why would I keep you in suspense? Here’s, well, something closer to word association versus free association. Heh.

Ian Benardo: He says “Ben-ardo” and I say “Ret-ardo.” Let’s call the whole thing off.

Sarah from Ohio: You’re 19. You don’t need Daddy’s permission to do ANYthing any more.

Fania: From Greece to Africa, and she took a left turn at apalling.

Ashanti: They said “As the American Idol Turns” and I say “As My Stomach Turns.” Get a clue - there were three Americans in the room and they said NO. America has *heard* you, so move on.

Amanda and Anotella: They both made it, but Anotella sings far better. Will their friendship survive Hollywood? Um, isn’t this about singing? To quote the MUSIC EXECUTIVE: “When someone’s down on the floor, kick them.” Could be interesting!

Clifton: Who told you ZZ Top screams when they sing? Damn!

Phillip: Does he have a flip top head?

William: AKA “It’s Pat!”

Kia: She did Aretha and got in. She was excited as hell. Simon says she has one problem, though. “No emotion.” HA! Such a funny guy that Simon!

Jenry: While he reminded me of Skelator, he had a great voice for a 16 year old.

Nakia: Should have stuck with the first song as you blew it with your second. You’ll be dancin’ in the streets at home, “Little Shirley.”

Sarah Goldberg: Hubby and I agreed that she was channeling “Fucking leftard.” Sarah, you’re right…you can’t sing. You don’t need to be taught how to sing, either. You need a valium and a dose of conservative. Jeez.

Antonio: He sang New Yor, New York. Can we get a “K” Vanna?

Jory: A Canadian who made a stop in Santa Monica on her way to American Idol. Isn’t this show “AMERICAN Idol?” Eh?

Porcelana: The “Rocky” of American Idol. She sang Mary J. Blige, and quite nicely. She scares me, though.

Christopher Henry: They thought he looked a bit like Simon, but when he sang, a woman’s voice clearly came out. I could close my eyes and see a woman in my mind. I would have never told him that. But Simon made it clear that he should have sang “in a dress and stilettos.” Harsh - at least it got a cussing rant out of Paula.

Rachel: Rachel was there, along with her other two personas. Oh, and all of them are going to Hollywood.

Chris from Virginia: Hubby: Yet another Mariah wannabe with balls. Me: Since he has balls, they’ll say he’s like Justin Timberlake. AI: You’re kind of like Justin Timberlake. Score: One for me, zero for da hubby. Should I be proud, or humiliated? ;)

Nick: Bailed on Hollywood last year and came back to redeem himself. He would have truly redeemed himself if he had sang “Buttercup.” Really.

Isadora: To quote Simon “rational advice isn’t necessary.” And she seemed to be orgasming right in the middle of the song - was I dreaming? Oh, yes, we were laughing too hard to really notice. But riddle me this…she said she was a clairvoyant. Wouldn’t a clairvoyant *know* if they are going to win or not?

Next week? Alabama. I bet Beth is lined up for her audition as we speak!