I done saved my best recipe for last. My ole man, he used to be a seaman (you know, the boys in those doggone handsome sailor uniforms). He brought home this recipe for S*&% on a Shingle (S.O.S.). While I rectum ya’ll might want to stick with the recipe since you aren’t a gormet chef like myself, I will also say I use good old ground chuck instead of the chipped beef - that stuff can be damn pricey!
Melt butter or fat in pan, then add the beef. Cook 3 minutes, or until brown. Add 2 cups of milk, but save the last 1/4 cup for later. Add salt and pepper and bring to a boil. Add flour to thicken, followed by leftover milk. Thicken to a glue-like texture, then pour over toast.

S.O.S. (dedicated to my seaman)

5 oz. of dried or chipped beef
2 1/4 cups of milk
2 tbs. butter or fat
1/4 cup flour
Salt and pepper
6 slices of bread, toasted

There ain’t nothing easier than this recipe, I’ll reckun with the exception of your sister Twila!

Tortilla Weenie Wrap

1 hot dog
1 tortilla
1 piece of store brand sliced cheese product

Put the cheese on top of the hot dog, wrap the tortilla around the works. Heat in the microwave until the cheese melts and the hot dog is warm (around a minute, dependin’ on how old that there microwave is).

You can dip it into some taco sauce. I make it simple by using those, uh, left over packets from Taco Bell. Deeelish, ya’ll!

There ain’t no one outta there that can say we don’t know how to cook a good meal loaded with culture. We ain’t nobodys just cuz we don’t have them fancy knives like that broad Rachael Ray (although she does have a garbage bowl - same as a trash bowl, I reckun!).

I like livin’ classy and you can too, by serving up this meal that all yer family will not soon fergit.

Hot Dog Fried Rice

3-4 Hot Dogs, cut up into chunks (1 serving for each person ya’ll are cooking for)
Minute Rice, cooked, enough for all of your eaters
An onion, chopped up
Some Soy Sauce (I use the packets from that Chinese diner in the mall)
Some eggs, scrambled

Take the hot dogs and fry ‘em up in a pan. Add the onion and sweat it out (fancy talk, ain’t it?). Put the rice in the pan and stir it all up with that soy sauce. Once that’s all done, then throw in your eggs, and let them cook until done.

There you have it. If yer kin don’t usually like Fried Rice, since there’s hot dogs in there, you can serve it with some catsup and relish, if they like that kind of thing. I usually follow it up with a fortune cookie from that there Chinese diner we talked about earlier. Or a Ding Dong - they are good with everything!