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How Much is That Mannequin in the Window?

Um….yeah.

FERNDALE, Mich. — A Detroit man with a history of smashing store windows to grab female mannequins has been accused of indulging his fetish again.

Ronald A. Dotson, 39, was arrested and jailed Oct. 9 after breaking a window at a cleaning-supply company to get at a mannequin in a black and white French maid’s uniform, police said.

A judge Thursday ordered him to undergo a psychiatric examination to determine whether he is competent to stand trial on charges of attempted breaking and entering.

The poor guy couldn’t get rehabilitated in prison. Apparently they didn’t have a Mannequin’s Annonymous support group in the clink. He was out of prison less than a week and was at it again, even after he said he’d buy a mannequin so he could resist the urge to go steal them. Apparently, he likes that thrill of the chase, living on the wild side to find that “special” fiberglass dream come true.

His erotic pursuit of mannequins over the past 13 years has led to at least six convictions for breaking and entering and a stint in prison, police said.

I can’t help but wonder what a conversation with his parole officer might look like:

Mannequin Lover: But I couldn’t help it, Bob.

Bob Paroleguy: Manny, you gotta stop stealing mannequins. They are made of fiberglass. They can’t talk, they are cold…kinda like my ex-wife, but without the nagging…hmmmm….maybe you are onto something here?

Mannequin Lover: They are strong, silent types, Bob. I can get them to do what I want. They wear anything I want them to wear and they don’t tell me I drink too much. They are there when I need them. They LISTEN to me.

Bob Paroleguy: So tell me again, about this last one with the French Maid clothes….

Eh…the guy’s a freak. But at least his “victims” are fiberglass.

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