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Thank God Criminals are Stupid!

So, not only does this disgusting pig of a human being decide to take pictures of him with a young child, he then firms up his own stupidity!

BALTIMORE — A man was arrested on child porn charges after pawning a laptop computer that contained photos of him engaged in sexual conduct with a 5-year-old girl, federal prosecutors said Tuesday.

The owner of the pawn shop contacted police after the images were discovered.

Brian Dotson, 45, of Bel Air was identified as the man in the pictures, in part through a cartoon-character tattoo on his left bicep, the U.S. attorney’s office said.

He could get up to 30 years in prison on the federal child pornography charges. He was also charged in state court with rape and sexual abuse.

It is moments like this that you appreciate the fact that criminals are, by nature, stupid.

I imagine his conversation with inmates in prison will go something like this:

Inmate: So, Dotson, whatcha in for?

Dotson: Sexual Assault on a minor. Why?

Inmate: Just wondering…how did you get caught? Why would you do that shit anyway?

Dotson: Well, I wasn’t with her when I got caught. I got caught because they found our pictures on a computer I pawned at the pawnshop.


Gratuitous Rachael Ray Blogging

Fort Wayne’s “Journal Gazette” had an opportunity to run an interview with Rachael Ray as she was on her way to the Daytime Emmys.

I think the questions people ask in an interview are pretty crazy, but it does expose that other people are even nuttier:

Q. Your shows are basically shot in one take. Ever make a mistake that made you drop an f-bomb?

A. I cook like a sailor when I’m at home. It’s so funny. But I’ve never slipped and cussed on air. I have gotten in trouble, though, in the most obscure ways. One time I was using portobellos and I said, “You know, I just pop the tops off and leave the stems because they’re too woody, I can’t even make a good stalk out of them. They’re so tough, you know.” So I said, “Just pop the tops off because the stems are a bit of a gyp.” I got this hate mail from a Gypsy who said I was being derogatory to Gypsies. I didn’t even know that was the origin of the expression. Really! But whatever. I get in trouble for the most bizarre stuff sometimes, not meaning to. Sometimes I’ll throw salt over my shoulder, you know if I spill some, for good luck. And people write in saying, “Who’s cleaning up all that salt on the floor?” I’m like, “Dude! Why do you care? My dog is licking it up, OK?”

Q. They want the idea, the image of you getting the mop bucket after the show cuts.

A. I don’t know. Sometimes they get angry at me for tasting my own food, or touching something. You know, dipping my finger in the sauce. I’m like, “I’m not cooking for you. I’m here alone with my vegetables. Do you mind if I taste my own food?”

And those of you on the edge around your seat about a mini Rachael or John running around…

Q. Speaking of moms, when can your mom expect grandkids?

A. Never! I love children. I want to work with children and food. It’s my pet thing in life and I love being around kids. They’re funny. They’re much smarter than adults, in my opinion. And much more honest. And I love cooking with them. But I just don’t physically have the time to have any. It would have to be an immaculate conception, first of all. I’m rarely home. And you know, me and my husband love being parents to my little Isaboo (her dog). We like furry kids. And I just don’t have enough time to do it properly, and I don’t think you should have kids just for vanity’s sake or to use a name. Or just because your clock’s ticking.

Q. Plus, the name Suri is taken now.

A. And the name Suri is taken, which is hugely disappointing. So what’s the point in any of us having kids?

As you know, Rachael Ray was recently recognized by Time as one of the “100 People Who Shape Our World.” For those of you who are always looking for pics of Rachael Ray, here she is at the Time event with hubby John. Enjoy!