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She Was on a Roll….Three, Actually!

News doesn’t get better than this. THIS, my friends, is heavy hitting, so prepare yourself!

MARSHALLTOWN, Iowa (AP) - Police blame a woman named Butts for stealing toilet paper from a central Iowa courthouse, and while they’re chuckling, the theft charge could put her in prison.

“She’s facing potentially three years of incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper,” Chief Lon Walker said, stifling a laugh as he talked to KCCI-TV about Suzanne Marie Butts. “See, I can’t say it with a straight face.”

[silence]

Wow. There are just so many things I can say, but in the end game, all I can say is that she is sure going to be the BUTT of a few jokes for some time to come. BWHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Walker did not know why Butts was at the courthouse, but said that she did not work there.

Awwwwwww….c’mon Chief…you know why she was there….she was WIPING out your stock of toilet paper! Wow….I just kill myself sometimes!


The Sopranos…Lamest Ending of a Series EVER

Both Vinnie and Beth share my sentiments (swearing, bitching and all), so I won’t try and write a major post on it. But I will say this.

I will never watch another David Chase “masterpiece” again.

I will never watch any “Sopranos” movie they may try to sell, unless they mail me a free ticket and pay for my popcorn, soda and babysitting expenses.

I will cancel HBO as soon as possible.

I will remain thoroughly disgusted that I bought some of the seasons on DVD (but will pat myself on the back for stopping when I knew full well the show was going downhill).

I will totally kick myself IN THE ASS for watching each episode faithfully, even after the show entered major suckdom a couple of seasons ago. Damn loyalty bullshit!

GAH! I think I need to go whack something. Er, maybe I’ll just go eat some fucking onion rings or something. Jerks!


The Most Obvious Headline Ever

The headline… Studies: Death Penalty Discourages Crime

::: slaps head ::: Whodathunkit?

An excerpt:

What gets little notice, however, is a series of academic studies over the last half-dozen years that claim to settle a once hotly debated argument — whether the death penalty acts as a deterrent to murder. The analysts say yes. They count between three and 18 lives that would be saved by the execution of each convicted killer.

But the life of a criminal is more valuable than those three to 18 lives for our society, or so it seems by everyone’s desire to abolish the death penalty.

And the co-author of the study is against the death penalty!

“Science does really draw a conclusion. It did. There is no question about it,” said Naci Mocan, an economics professor at the University of Colorado at Denver. “The conclusion is there is a deterrent effect.”

A 2003 study he co-authored, and a 2006 study that re-examined the data, found that each execution results in five fewer homicides, and commuting a death sentence means five more homicides. “The results are robust, they don’t really go away,” he said. “I oppose the death penalty. But my results show that the death penalty (deters) — what am I going to do, hide them?

I encourage you to read the rest of this story, which follows by outlining conclusions and the various levels of argument for the flip side. The morality issues, the “flawed” methodology, etc.

It’s really common sense to me. Yes, serious and speedy consequences to a situation will deter future criminals to consider the same crime. When there are no serious or speedy consequences that make a criminal pause, they will continue down the path, willing to take the consequences. Am I cold blooded for wanting to protect innocent people from murderers? I personally don’t think so. I only wish society could see the consequences for their decision to let these criminals off with a slap versus a real sentence.


Gin for Sixth Graders?

Let’s see…I’ve heard teachers bitch about “Leave No Child Behind” but didn’t know that meant taking them to the bar….

AKRON, Ohio — Officials in Ohio said they’ll investigate reports that students at a charter school were served gin at their sixth-grade graduation.

School authorities said that four students were given a teaspoon of gin mixed with water at a ceremony at the school in Akron this week.

In a day and age where there are so many groups evangelizing the need to keep kids away from alcohol (D.A.R.E., M.A.D.D. to name two), school officials think it’s okay to serve booze to kids graduating sixth grade? Oh…..never mind. Now I’m seeing the ticket to ride….

A school official said the ritual — meant to teach honesty — is similar to an African rite of passage. He reports the kids spit out the gin.

So…the fact that it was proclaimed to be an African rite of passage - paired with the fact that they spit it out - makes it okay? Um, is that anything like Bubba Clinton’s proclamation that he didn’t inhale? Oh, yeah, the whole rite of passage is supposed to teach honesty. HONESTLY!!!! What’s next….pot so they can open up and free their artful expression? Really!


Phelps in the Backyard

I was going to write about this, but hubby did already, so go here.


Angels are With You, Kelsey Smith

It appears that an already tragic story of abduction had an even more tragic end:

OVERLAND PARK, Kan. — Police are searching for a killer after discovering the body of who they believe is missing 18-year-old Kelsey Smith, who disappeared four days ago.

Members of a Texas-based search team found the body across state lines near Grandview, Mo., about 20 miles from where she was abducted.

“Pending completion of a forensics examination, we have reason to believe we have found Kelsey Smith,” Overland Police Chief John Douglass said during a press conference Wednesday. “I promised them [the family] we will continue every effort to solve this case … and to bring her killer to justice.”

These types of cases infuriate me. Look at that picture. She was a girl that appeared to be so full of joy, so full of life, with a promising future ahead of her. How DARE some disgusting pig of a human being make the decision to take that all away? Who do they think they are? I hope they find the freak that did this to her and I hope that someone has the GUTS to punish them in the way they should be…no “poor criminal” or “not guilty by reason of insanity” crap. I’m so sick of hearing it. These criminals are fueled not only by pure evil, but by the flames that are fanned every day in the justice system. When we don’t give these murdering bastards REAL CONSEQUENCES, they know they can do what they want to do without fear of a punishment that truly fits the crime.

God bless Kelsey’s family and friends. I cannot even begin to understand your pain, but I’m praying for you. I know that if they confirm Kelsey is gone, be comforted that she has been in the arms of angels and feels the joy that she was meant to have here with you. I pray that you can find some peace in all of this. I also pray that they find the beast who did this so others will be safe.

Update: Looks like they may have caught the bastard:

A 26-year-old man seen on a video surveillance tape was charged Thursday with premeditated first-degree murder and aggravated kidnapping in connection to the death of recent high school graduate Kelsey Smith, who disappeared from a Target parking lot in Overland Park, Kan.

Police arrested Edwin Hall, 26, on Wednesday night after he appeared on a security camera video shortly before Smith, 18, walked out of Target and was forced into a car last Saturday.

May the family find even a small amount of comfort in knowing it is entirely possible that Kelsey’s killer has now been found and removed from society.


The Sopranos

Why is it that we have been tortured the better part of the last 3 seasons with foo foo crap on “The Sopranos?”

We sat down to see the second to last episode last night - that was the best we’d seen in years AND NOW THERE’S ONLY ONE EPISODE LEFT!!!!!

Where was this action the last two, two-and-a-half seasons, huh?!?!?!?

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This message brought to you by a slightly deranged woman who has an empty DVR list because everything is now a repeat…EXCEPT THE SOPRANOS!!!!!


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