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May 24th, 2005

Dumb & Dumber Criminals

So things have been pretty heavy on my site the last couple of days so I thought I’d lighten up a little bit and blog on some stupid, dumb ass criminals - I hope you get a laugh out of them like I did!

Cops Break Up Drug Deal Next to Squad Car

I can’t help but post this whole article.  What a couple of idiots!

ELKHART, Ind. (AP) - Police Cpl. Mike Swygart said he did not believe it at first when someone told him two men were making a drug deal next to his patrol car. Swygart said he was on a break having a cup of coffee Friday night when a person told him what was going on outside.

"I laughed because I thought no one would be so foolish as to handle illegal drugs next to a police car," Swygart wrote in his report. "He looked at me and told me that he was not joking."

Swygart walked outside and spotted two men in a car parked next to the squad car, holding what appeared to be bags of marijuana.

Gawd - that’s priceless!

"I opened the passenger side door and shouted, ‘Police, don’t move!’ Both suspects dropped the baggies and let them fall on the front seat," he said.

Officers detained the two men and reported seizing two small bags of marijuana as well as some drug paraphernalia and pills.

That’ll be a fun one for him to report back at the station!

Gramma, 911 Isn’t the Number for Dominoes!

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) - An 86-year-old woman has been sent to jail after police said she called 911 dispatchers 20 times in a little more than a half-hour to complain about a pizza parlor. Dorothy Densmore remained in jail Tuesday charged with misusing the 911 system, a jail spokeswoman said.

Gramma was just a BIT upset about her pizza, apparently!

It’s unusual for someone to face charges for nonemergency calls, Giannini said. But on Sunday, Densmore kept calling 911, even after she was told to stop, Giannini said.

When an officer arrived at her apartment, the 5-foot-tall, 98-pound woman attacked him, Giannini said. Densmore scratched him, kicked and bit his hand, she said.

Hmmmm…don’t you think the officer’s report conveniently left out "got my ass kicked by a 5-foot-tall, 98 pound, 86 year old gramma?"

Densmore is also charged with resisting a public officer and two counts of misusing the 911 system, jail records show.

Granny likes calling 911 and got into trouble previously for calling 911 10 times before stopping.  Apparently the Chinese food must have been too cold!

Drittsekk ("Dirtbag" in Norwegian)

OSLO, Norway (AP) - An enterprising if unscrupulous Norwegian found a way to turn a tidy profit on Oslo real estate by renting out a nice apartment in a popular part of town.

What the renters didn’t know was that he had broken in to someone else’s apartment and then rented it out to 11 different people, the national news media reported Tuesday.

Police said the 29-year-old, whose name was withheld, admitted breaking in to the apartment, and posting photographs of it on an Internet real estate site, asking for a bargain $780 a month in rent.

Ummm, Dude.  Internet = Public = YOU’LL GET CAUGHT!

Since such an apartment normally costs 35 percent more in Oslo, about 60 hopefuls flocked to the con man’s showing.

Ummm, Dumb Ass.  Too Good to Be True = YOU’LL GET CAUGHT!

Eleven were so eager that they each paid a $2,340 deposit for a total of $25,780 transferred to the swindler’s bank account.

Ummm, Dork. Yeah, YOU! Put Money In Own Bank Account that is Fraudulent = YOU’LL GET CAUGHT!

Ingrid Christensen, of the Oslo police, told Norway’s largest newspaper, Verdens Gang, the money was found in the suspect’s bank account and he would face fraud charges.

The real renter was traveling at the time of the showings, and has now changed all the locks.

There you have it.  Some real masterminds and some real whack jobs out there.  But we love to make fun of them, don’t we?

Cross Posted at And Rightly So!

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