• The 2006 Weblog Awards



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Marriage, my ass!

Man accused of having knife in airport

ROMULUS, Mich. A Michigan man is charged with possessing a weapon at an airport.

STRIKE ONE!

Authorities say the man attempted to board a flight in Detroit Thursday with a knife hidden in a book.

STRIKE TWO!

They say he had a one-way ticket to his native Yemen.

STRIKE THREE!

The 21-year-old was arraigned yesterday and jailed. If convicted, he faces up to ten years in prison.

YOU’RE OUT!

A spokesman for the Detroit Metropolitan Airport says the knife had been placed in a carved-out section of a book.

His lawyer says the man was returning to Yemen to get married.

Was the knife a gift for his bride-to-be? Perhaps this “bride-to-be” was one of the seventy-some-odd virgins waiting for her martyr?


Dual-Sex Fish in Potomac Raise Safety Questions for D.C. Area Water System

WASHINGTON Scientists say more dual-sex fish are swimming in the Potomac River — and the cause may be pollution.

The fish with both male and female characteristics have been discovered in the rivers and streams around the nation’s capital. And that’s spawning questions about the impact of contaminants on the millions who drink the tap water.

Pollution….who’da thunk?

The general manager of the water-filtering Washington Aqueduct says he doesn’t think anybody has the answer right now. But he says there’s no evidence that tap water from the Potomac is unsafe.

Isn’t that what the water-filtering is supposed to do?

Scientists say humans should be less susceptible to pollutants, anyway, because they have larger bodies and different hormone systems. And unlike fish, they aren’t constantly immersed in water.

What an absolutely profound statement! I mean, who knew; we’re BIGGER than (most) fish, have different hormones and we don’t live submerged in water! What the report doesn’t say is that 100% of the fish tested were found to have extreme liberal tendancies.


Party Gal

Now I have to admit that I do my fair share of partying…..but a THREE DAY RECOVERY? Take another aspirin, suck down some Pepto and get back to bloggin ya wuss!


Clarett the LOSER!

Police: Former Ohio State Star Clarett Arrested With 4 Guns

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Maurice Clarett was arrested early Wednesday after a highway chase that ended with police using Mace on the former Ohio State running back and finding four loaded guns in his truck, a police spokesman said.

Officers used Mace to subdue Clarett after a stun gun was ineffective because the former Fiesta Bowl star was wearing a bullet-resistant vest, Sgt. Michael Woods said.

Four loaded guns and a flak jacket? What the hell was he preparing for? Skip any trial he may be looking at and let’s get him right over to Iraq! That probably wouldn’t work because it’s obvious he has no moral direction, and our military does.

“It took several officers to get him handcuffed,” Woods said. “Even after he was placed in the paddy wagon, he was still kicking at the doors and being a problem for the officers.”

Clarett was being interviewed at police headquarters. Authorities planned to charge him with carrying concealed weapons and other counts, Woods said.

Clarett made an illegal U-turn on the city’s east side and failed to stop when officers tried to pull him over.

Once a gangsta, always a gangsta.

Clarett was being pursued by police while driving eastbound on Interstate 70 when he darted across the median and began heading west. Clarett drove over a spike strip that was placed on the highway, flattening the driver’s side tires of the SUV, Woods said.

Clarett exited the highway and pulled into a restaurant parking lot, where officers removed him from the SUV after he failed to obey numerous orders to exit the vehicle, Woods said.

Not good military material if you can’t follow a simple order.

After Clarett was placed in a police van, officers discovered a loaded rifle and three loaded handguns in the front of the vehicle, Woods said.

Woods said he did not know where Clarett got the guns or why he had them and that federal authorities plan to trace their ownership.

Gansta party.

Clarett, 22, is currently awaiting trial on two counts of aggravated robbery, four counts of robbery and one count of carrying a concealed weapon in a separate case. Authorities said he was identified by witnesses as the person who flashed a gun and robbed two people in an alley behind the Opium Lounge in the early hours of Jan. 1.

And he got out on bond? Hopefully the judge denies bond in this case, or makes it so costly he won’t be out. And what the hell kind of name is that for a lounge; Opium?

Clarett scored the winning touchdown in the second overtime to lead Ohio State to the 2002 national championship, the school’s first since 1968. But that was the last game the freshman played for Ohio State. He sat out the 2003 season after being charged with misdemeanor falsification on a police report, then dropped out of school. He sued to be included in the 2004 NFL draft and lost in court.

A surprise third-round pick in the 2005 draft, he was cut by the Denver Broncos during the preseason.

Hmmm….gangsta’s given the opportunity of a lifetime to make millions playing football and what’s he do? Blames everyone else for his troubles because he couldn’t handle the mental strength it takes to be a pro. Now he’s just going to be another stat in another prison that you and I get to pay for.


Could have been a Darwin Award in the making…

MIAMI A second woman is suing wine and spirit maker Bacardi, claiming she was seriously burned by flaming rum during a night out in Miami.

WILD NIGHTS IN MIAMI!

A friend who was with her has already sued the company.

The women say they suffered serious burns after being hit by the flaming rum, and claim one of Bacardi’s products is defective and dangerous.

RUM DEFECTIVE??? THE NATURE OF ALCOHOL IS THAT IT IS FLAMMABLE! (6TH GRADE SCIENCE CLASS)

The lawsuits are filed in Miami-Dade County Circuit Court.

A bartender, who wasn’t identified in either lawsuit, was pouring shots of Bacardi 151 when a customer lit a menu on fire and placed it in the stream of alcohol.

WAS THIS CUSTOMER A FRIEND WHO HAPPENED TO BE WITH THESE TWO BRAINLESS WOMEN??? PERHAPS HE SHOULD BE NAMED IN THE SUIT, SOLEY, AS THE IRRESPONSIBLE PARTY.

The lawsuits say the bottle turned into a flame thrower and sent flaming rum everywhere.

NO SHIT.

The Miami-based company says it won’t comment on the suits, but that the product is clearly labeled with warnings against setting fire to it.

END OF STORY.


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